New Website

As you may or may not know, this blog has been woefully underperforming since the Cookie Monster started eating vegetables. After years of market research, our analysts here at Bored and Insane Inc have concluded that we need to take the site in a whole new direction.

According to the analysis report, internet users are "attracted to things that are exciting and hilarious." Apparently, "the only demographic won over by boredom and insanity are art critics and mathematicians." In an effort to amend these problems with audience approval, we will be totally revamping the Bored and Insane blog.

Here is a sneak peek of the new website:

The market research team assures me this fresh, original approach to internet entertainment will be an overnight success.

Just a Bunch of Words

I made a song out of profanity:

(right-click to "save link as")

Pop-Tarts

It was lunchtime. As I opened my last package of frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts, I was suddenly inspired. The thin, shiny material encasing my delectable toaster pastries was perfect for a spontaneous art project:

"spontaneous" is the new word for shitty

So, children...always remember that it's okay to eat Pop-Tarts for lunch—just tell your mom you're looking for creative inspiration.

Frank the Spider

There is a spider on my bathroom ceiling. Since he (she?) hasn't moved in about a month, I have decided to name him (her?) Frank.

Frank is basically part of the family now.

...he has definitely seen me naked.

The Killer Whale: Biggest Badass in the Animal Kingdom

See the (slightly) more improved version on CRACKED.com!

*CORRECTIONS* (because I made some stupid, stupid errors)

• The dolphin family is part of the order Cetacea. So the Killer Whale— along with any other member of the dolphin family— is technically a whale.
• Ballena asesina does, in fact, translate to "killer whale," not "whale killer."
• ...and it's "complexion" not "complextion"

Always cross-check your sources, kids!

You can see the very much improved, revised edition here.

Totally Random

Are you bored?

Haha, of course you are! Here, watch my first full-length Flash animation:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/307407

You: It has pikachu! It must be the most awesomest animation ever created!

I made that pile of flaming shit four years ago. This was back when I was just starting to dabble in computer graphics. The ridiculous amount of time I spent on this project helped me get to know Flash. Now I spend many many nights alone with her.

Yes, this program has become my faithful lover.

Macromedia Flash—forever in my heart.
(but I totally made this graphic with Adobe Fireworks)

That is all, for now.

A little bit of ambiguity.

Chicks, dudes...or ducks? Perception is everything.

My Sculpture

I take my art very seriously. After pouring my heart and soul into a project, I would not be able to bear the thought of my work being destroyed.

...oh wait.

http:/www.youtube.com/watch?v=03N9ZpeXH10

Yeah, I made an ambigram

Rotation won't change the situation
Mind-boggling neural altercation

CREST© Whitestrips: The Secret to a Brighter Smile

Music I Like

Good music and vector art— two things I cannot do without...though, I'm sure better typography certainly wouldn't hurt.

 
Here are earlier versions...featuring papyrus!

My Life is Complete.

I am now a proud owner of 8 Mile.

The Letter 'L'

The most beautiful things come from a combination of discovery and creation.

Bernard "Burns" Slow

Where will he go?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Bernard-Burns-Slow/114674855215769?ref=ts

Coming Soon to a theater near you:

I am the living bread which came down from heaven:
if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever:
and the bread that I will give is my flesh,
which I will give for the life of the world.

The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying,
How can this man give us his flesh to eat?

Then Jesus said unto them,
Verily, verily, I say unto you,
Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man,
and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood,
hath eternal life; and I will raise him
up at the last day.

(John 6:51-54)

Are you watching closely?

I really like watching The Prestige...and I really wish I had Casino Royale on DVD instead of Blu-ray— my laptop don't play no stinkin' Blu-ray.

(R.I.P. faithful red pen. We may not have always gotten along, but you were there for me when it mattered most.)

Look out...

Crayon is such an under-appreciated medium.

Inverted Portrait

(graphite on paper)

(scanned and inverted)

Drawing from an inverted portrait tested my patience even more than drawing a regular portrait. More of this is sure to come.